SHAME!

The other night a colleague of mine was stranded in a local train which had run someone over, resulting in the journey being suspended for an undefined period and further resulting in her deciding to cross the railway tracks and get home sooner.
And an oncoming train hit her.
And she’s in a coma, and all of us who know her are hoping she bounces back to the cheerful girl that she is.
And when this incident took place, I learnt that, on an average, ten people are killed every day in Mumbai crossing railway tracks.
That’s a ridiculous waste of lives.
And this is a city that harbours ambitions of being called world-class.
A city where every single day is worse than the previous one for commuters. Commuters in cars, in taxis, in buses, in planes, on the trains.
As far as pedestrians go, they have to manage on a foot and a prayer.
And if you pause for a second, and consider that Mumbai is much better off than most of the towns and cities in the country, where in hell are we headed?

We have the media paying lip service to the problems that we face.
And we have politicians and bureaucrats paying lip service to the lip serving media.

And we judge the media and the politicians by this lip service, giving them their TRPs and their votes.

And I’m despondent.

I hope she makes it.

Cabbages and Kings

It’s the job.
No, it’s not, it’s just laziness.
The trouble is that most of my personal interests overlap with my professional one, and that makes it hard to blog on a site that, by my own definition, will focus on the same area.
So I’ll blog here on things that have no connect to advertising, media and marketing. Or, at the very least, are not in conflict to what I write elsewhere. Cabbages and kings, and stuff like that.

I’m gruntled after reading this one

In one of my favourite reads of all time, PG Wodehouse wrote, “I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”
To me, then, it was a bizarre experience of a non-word bringing out the richness in meaning of a real word.
And it’s happened again. Jerry and Joe Long, writing on George W Bush’s post-presidential plans, talk about how he plans to “replenish the coffers.” Except, they can’t remember when he plenished them in the first place.
Great read. Go there!

Winsome loses some, wins lots

A model claims that she's been the victim of online fraud to the tune of Rs. 21,568.

That's not a lot of money to merit long articles in The Times of India and DNA (two newspapers I saw reports in).

The article is propped up by a photo of the model, Ankeeta Mukherjee. Obviously one from her portfolio. Does her a world of good.

And I spoke to a media planner friend, Poojary at TBWA, and asked him how much the space would have cost Ankeeta had she bought it.

If it appeared only in The Times of India's Mumbai edition, Ankeeta's gain is Rs. 2,97,840. If the story has been carried by all editions, she's gained Rs. 6,12,000.

And that's only The Times of India.

Not a bad loss, the twenty odd thousand. And Ankeeta's PR consultant has earned his beer.

Why India is out of the Big Mac Index: Where's the beef?

Still on economist.com. Looked at the Big Mac Index. Couldn't find India.

Why?
Clicked on link offering explanation.
Found this:

Burgernomics is based on the theory of purchasing-power parity, the notion that a dollar should buy the same amount in all countries. Thus in the long run, the exchange rate between two countries should move towards the rate that equalises the prices of an identical basket of goods and services in each country. Our "basket" is a McDonald's Big Mac, which is produced in about 120 countries. The Big Mac PPP is the exchange rate that would mean hamburgers cost the same in America as abroad. Comparing actual exchange rates with PPPs indicates whether a currency is under- or overvalued.

And since McDonald's in India doesn't serve beef, we aren't considered for the index. It wouldn't be an apple to apple comparison.
I have no beef now on India being excluded.

India cleans up corruption act

Was on Economist.com. Looking for sports articles under articles by subject. “Corruption” caught my eye. Clicked link.
Here’s what I found:


EUROPE: Albania's government
No power, no glory
A tale of corruption and power cuts
UNITED STATES: Political corruption
Investigating Alaska
State and federal officials are facing a pile of indictments and inquiries. The common thread: oil
EUROPE: Political scandals in Italy
Courting trouble
Now magistrates take on the centre-left
MIDDLE EAST & AFRICA: Sierra Leone
As you were
Peace, and now elections. But not much else to brag about
THE AMERICAS: Brazil
Fight in the favelas
Rio cracks down on crime. But the police are at least half the problem
BUSINESS: Business in China
Dirty dealing
Despite a clampdown, corruption remains a formidable problem
LEADERS: Nigeria
Mission impossible, nearly
After fraudulent elections a new and tainted president faces a mountain of problems

Look, ma, there's no mention of India!
And why am I surprised? Just a few days ago, a friend and I were trying to recollect the last time either of us had paid a bribe to anyone. Couldn't remember...

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world!

When is a story a story?

When a Telugu filmstar turns 52, as CNN IBN feels?
Is it ever a story when someone turns 52?
In case the channel runs out of stories, here’s some help.
Bill Gates turns 52 this year as well. As does Indra Nooyi.
As do a few million other people.
And if you’re really in a fix, try people who turn 53. Or 51.

Or, for chrissakes, just pick a number!

Good news is no news

That’s all one can infer from two unrelated incidents of the past month.

Piyush Pandey completed 25 years at O&M. None of the MSM products saw fit to write about it.
Yashpal Khanna completed 15 years at STAR TV. None of the MSM products saw fit to write about it.

Let a mid level manager resign from O&M or STAR TV and it will be breaking news in the media focused dotcoms and will form part of a larger story in the advertising and media pages of newspapers.

Attrition is a story, retention or loyalty is not.

Of people to have a drink with

I can’t remember the precise exchange, but it went something like this:

“I’d walk a mile for a PG Wodehouse”, was Rex Stout, on PG Wodehouse.
“I have walked a mile for a Nero Wolfe,” was PG Wodehouse, on Rex Stout.

And a friend of mine starts a blog (http://www.plaincurdrice.blogspot.com/, where one is promised stupid answers to snappy questions) and has my blog as a link under “Glad to buy a drink anytime for…”

I’m always delighted to have a drink with you, Shirty. As I have been delighted to do for the past 25 years!

Of Orkut, of Big Adda and of ego

When I first came across Big Adda, I said to myself, hey, I've heard about this earlier...

Then I remembered, hey, I've written about this earlier...

And here's a part of a post written in October 2006 likening Orkut to addas.

I am on no Orkut group. I once got onto a Ryze group, but did nothing with it other than post a rudimentary profile.Orkut means nothing to me.

But it means a lot to my daughter.She’s part of a number of groups on Orkut, including one that discusses Osho chappals. I swear that’s true.

And she Orkuts (no reason why it shouldn’t be a capitalized verb, if one can be Bangalored) for an hour or so each evening.What she’s doing on the Internet is what another generation did outside of it. She’s catching up with like-minded people – not all of them anonymous and unknown. As time goes on, the group shrinks into grouplings and grouplets, tighter and tighter as the Orkuters find more and more common ground.

Objectors to Orkut should take a look at the Orkuts that we have had for years in the real world. Like the adda in Kolkata. Like the kitty parties anywhere in India. Like the Lion’s Club, like the Rotary, like chess clubs and carom clubs. Like the Laughter Clubs, like jazz societies and poetry readings and drama groups.

Depends on what "only" means to you

I always knew that Nokia was big. I always knew that they sold lots of phones.

But it took their battery recall for me to understand just how big they are.

As Nokia says in their "recall" ad (part of which is reproduced above), there are "only" 46 million batteries affected.

I love seeing a word like "only" next to a number like "46 million".

Especially since 46 million = the populations of Mumbai + New Delhi + Kolkata + Chennai + Bangalore.

That's a lot of batteries.

Piyush Pandey wins Silver

No, not at Cannes. Not at the Abby's. Not at any award ceremony.

He completed 25 years with O&M on the 31st of July. And, surpisingly, no one tom-tommed it.

What a story. In an industry which is going through an acute talent crisis, and attrition management is the foremost responsibility of CEOs, 25 years in one agency. And yet, it seems to merit no attention in the media.

Cool.

Peter Mukerjea to get out of recruitment business?

Towards the end of last year, newspapers in Mumbai reported rumours on Peter Mukerjea’s imminent departure from STAR TV. In the absence of any official comment, at that time, from STAR or Mukerjea, rumours and gossip were published as fact and as news.
And one would think that those who were so keen to know what Mukerjea was up to eight months ago would still be as keen – but they’re obviously not.
Peter Mukerjea’s non-compete with STAR ended yesterday, and, today, he’s free as a bird to get out of the recruitment business of INX and into the media business at INX Media.

And not a single newspaper reported the milestone.

Miel’s Story: why JK Rowling is OK!

There’s a part of me that is livid with the whole marketing razzmatazz of the Harry Potter phenomenon. Young children desperate to own a copy even when they can’t read more than primers.

And then I spoke to my niece, Miel, all of eight. She’s now a big girl. When she’s bigger, she’ll read all the Harry Potter books. She still bought her own copy at Landmark, Chennai. And she sent me these few lines on her experience:

"I woke up at 5 o’clock and I rushed to Landmark, I got the Harry Potter book and I was so excited I got a tattoo. Then I was with my friends Nihara and all. Then I had a hat, a black hat with stars on it. I felt so happy when I got the book that I had to jump! And I got my pictures taken and I had to feed a SS Music girl with cake. I can’t read the book but I read some words in it. "

Harry Potter got Miel excited; got her so happy the she had to jump.

And I think to myself, what a wonderful book.

Even if I haven’t read a single Harry Potter.

Of cricket and eyesight

Cricket teams on the verge of winning have considerably better eyesight than cricket teams on the verge of losing.

Thank God for lightmeters.

And rain.

Bloomsbury WILL announce 8th Harry Potter or new series by Rowling

Because the franchise is too big, and makes far too much money for Bloomsbury and Rowling to walk away from.
It’s naïve to believe that they would throw away the considerable investments made in both Harry Potter and JK Rowling. The 8th Potter book, if ever written, will sell like hotcakes – as will the first book in a new series “by JK Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series”.
If I were Ladbrokes, I’d open books on both, the 8th Potter and the first non-Potter Rowling.
And I hope they would acknowledge the fact that they got the idea here.

Of Harry Potter and Scotch whiskey

We’ve all heard of how more Scotch is sold in India than is bottled in Scotland.
Now, if this report on ibnlive is to be believed, more than a few million copies of the latest Harry Potter have been sold in India.

“In India, pre-release orders have run into several millions and bookstalls will open by 0600 hours on Saturday so that everybody can have access to the book on the same day. Separate stalls have been set up for those who have booked their copies in advance. Over one million copies have already been sold online.”

So says ibnlive.
The problem is, according to friends in the publishing industry, less than 2,50,000 copies of the book have been imported into India.

Do we know it all? Of Fest-O-Comm and Santosh Desai

Last Sunday, I decided to forgo bridge and Bacchus and instead conduct a day-long session on event management at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Media and Communications (SIMC).
One thing led to another, and the students wanted to discuss their annual event, Fest-O-Comm – and the biggest problem confronting them.
The Symbiosis credibility and reputation ensures that the most successful professionals from the fields of media and communication are always willing – calendars permitting – to visit the campus to deliver lectures, be on panels, and so on.
The problem is, Symbiosis has an auditorium that seats 650, and SIMC has only 150 students (both seniors and juniors put together). How does one fill up the auditorium so that, say, a Piyush Pandey or a Rajdeep Sardesai is not offended by empty seats?
SIMC invites colleges from across the country to take part in the fest and, yet, it is an uphill task to get the audi filled to the brim.

And the students are a worried and despondent lot – and I hope I’m able to find a viable solution to what is surely a vexatious problem.

And I think about all the seminars and symposia and talks I’ve attended in the past few years. And I am reminded of the poor attendance at a Santosh Desai review of the year gone by when hardly anyone who was anyone was there; of seminar rooms at FICCI Frames attended by audiences in single digits; of a Subhas Ghosal Foundation lecture delivered by Javed Akhtar given a miss by industry stalwarts.

Does nobody want to learn anymore?

Harry Potter: the end is the beginning

On July 21st, a few million kids worldwide will buy a copy of the new Harry Potter, and a few million parents will buy a copy of the new Harry Potter for their few million kids.

And the sum total of these few million will become more than a few million, and these more than a few million owners will read the new Harry Potter back to front immediately after having a copy in their possession.

Because the first level of cool will be the ownership of the book.
The second level will be the knowledge of the ending.

And the second coolness will be achieved only by reading the book back to front.

And don’t be surprised if you quiz a few people who claim to have read the book in a few hours and none of them knows how the book began.

Buy the new Harry Potter! Get fame, free!

Today’s consumerised society presents any number of get-famous-quick ops.
And the next one is imminent.
Be the first one to stand in a queue (it won’t be a queue yet) for the new Harry Potter. My advice: start tomorrow morning (Monday).
I guarantee you that the major news channels, the major newspapers and the major dotcoms will interview you immediately. Perhaps the international wire services will as well, and you could feature in a story in England or in America as part of a larger Harry Potter story – to prove that the Potter phenomenon works even in countries like India.
Yesterday, a news channel covered a Lagaan promotion at Landmark bookshop LIVE for over an hour! That’s potty.
And now they’ll go Potter.