Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The "if cricket fails" media plan

Last night, I posted on the Kingfisher calendar, and it got me thinking about why men would give an arm and a leg to own one.
And I finally figured it out: because the Indian cricket team sucks.
So men, SEC A, B, C, D, E, 0-99 are turning to other sources of entertainment.
Enough of jest, down to serious stuff (not capitalized).

If the Indian team fails to get its act together, where on earth are you going to find these missing eyeballs? Here’s a list of my recommendations:
Formula 1: Catch SEC AB males here, English Speaking Markets, especially those who own motorcycles and cars. They are likely to have girlfriends and/or wives.
European Soccer: SEC ABC males, English Speaking and Hindi Speaking Markets, especially after CAS is a reality, and since you get commentary in two languages. They are likely to be boisterous and are unlikely to be able to pronounce names of key clubs and key players.
Golf: With Jyoti Randhawa and Jeev Milkha Singh doing so well, CEOs (even those who don’t know a club from a spade) are a guaranteed audience on golf programming.
KBC 3: It’s the format, stupid! Whether it’s Shah Rukh Khan or Amitabh Bachchan, KBC WILL get eyeballs. It would take a genius (and SRK is not one) to make audiences turn away from a magical format such as this one.
CNBC: With the Sensex hovering around 14000, and betting on cricket not worth a rat’s ***, the only decent place left for gamblers is the stock exchange. The cool guys will be betting on futures, whatever that is.
All news channels: For those cricket fans who want to relive their cricket watching years: You turn on the TV with optimism, and, as the day goes on, you learn that there’s no hope
FTV and Trendz: SEC ABCDE males without a DVD player or an Internet connection.

Finally, the Kingfisher Calendar.
If the TA can’t get hold of one, catch them at the nearest bar, next to a Kingfisher.

I’ll be next to a Foster’s.

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